you would pick up someone in the library
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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