Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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