Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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