i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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