My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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