She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
