Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
