I got her a Nickelback box set.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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