The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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