Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
