He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
