i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
