I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
