The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
3pm strippers are depressing
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Randomize
