I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
