You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
