Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
