ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
