Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
