using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
