i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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