I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
