I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Drunk is not a location!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
