mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
