babies were throwing up all over the place
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
