i don't like sucking hair
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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