Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
