Will you blow on my dice?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
