is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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