i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
