Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
