I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
