Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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