my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
