I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
