Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
