Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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