mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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