YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
