laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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