I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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