that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
