then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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