the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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