I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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