k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
