WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Come see our sink grown plant.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
