Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize