That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
