dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
