Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
