there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
