she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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