I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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