My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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