I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
