Your face is a jimmy john
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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