he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize