Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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