i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
