I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
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