The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
