I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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