i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
