Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
