happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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