I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
This house was built for laser tag.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Randomize
