The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
