I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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