I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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