4 words: hood of his car
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
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