It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
