She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
