All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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