Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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