what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
