5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
My pussy is not your playground.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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