No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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