Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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